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When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. But a best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun!”  

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A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him

Brendan Francis

   

Funny quotes

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot

roucho Marx 

 

Funny quotes

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck

George Carlin

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Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid

Hedy Lamarr

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A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'

m afraid of widths

steven wright

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If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts

Albert Einstein

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My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is

Ellen DeGeneres

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As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Buddy Hackett

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Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive

Elbert Hubbard